See post – “Dear friend, I deserve what you have” . before this post
You have harboured pain for so long, so much hypocrisy as i recall the times you stood by me.
However, i am grateful you did. At least you tried to cage it all in and thankfully you did not explode. How ironical for you to be named contentment.It’s really funny .I would tell you the truth with all honesty, you should have been called covetousness or jealousy. You just displayed how un-christ like you really were ,you had an out show of godliness but inside you were layers of bitterness. I would not Lord it over you because to be honest, there were so many things i saw in you that i admired and honestly wished i was half as great as you were just like you pointed out in your letter but we are given what we have because God made it so. Have you forgotten we deserve nothing but God graciously bestowed to us what he deemed fit? so if you complain and eye another persons’ to the point of hatred,jealousy and bitterness then my friend you just told God he knew nothing and knows nothing. You spit on his face by your acts.
You gained a Phd by being knowledgeable of your flaws? your words betray you as you esteem yourself more highly than you ought to. You have ripped yourself of the certificate by boasting in your so called goodness which worth nothing but filthy rags in the presence of God.I’d ask you ,can a man be pure before his maker?Dear virtuous woman as you call yourself clothed in strength and dignity how dignifying has been your thoughts towards me ? .How filled with strength have you displayed as you have become weakened by the things God graciously allowed come my way. You my dear friend are also a benefactor of God’s mercy but you are so myopic to see yours but your vision strengthened to see mine as you gazed intently with envy.For heavens sake , a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised and to fear the Lord is to depart from evil but my dear friend you have not departed from the evil of jealousy and thoughts of bitterness. Hence ,stripping yourself of that title.
However, things are not always as they seem.The seconds of smiles you usually see on my face may have come after minutes and hours of tears and hard work.my fiancé , yes he is such an angel but trust me the times we have our arguments is nothing to write home about but i love him and he loves me.I may not have been a saint but you aren’t either . I wold not let you hang that over my head .The Lord knows how repentant i was of the times i spent in my different boy friend’s arms. Giving up myself cheaply but God purified me and cleansed me as i laid all at his feet. I went away from the alter after being cleansed by my High priest, Christ Jesus and sinned no more.He graciously had mercy on me and decided to bless me with my fiancé. I keep wondering why and what i had done to deserve it but that’s just it, i didn’t deserve it. He did it for Himself .To receive all the glory, so my friend glorify God for me and don’t speak words of hatred.
A body to die for ?And a face lovely to behold you say? All flesh like grass would fade away.Charm is decietful and beauty vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Yes I stuff my face with unhealthy food ,so you say but dear friend I hit the Gym every now and then. I also stuff my face with five a day rule .
Things are not as they seem because i had to go through a lot to forgive myself and accept the goodness of God. I hated myself for sometime with days of guilt and regret .You deserve what i have right? Yes that’s fine but let me add,to deserve the end result my dear friend then you must be wiling to say you deserve the hurdles ,pains,tears and consequences that came and comes with the end result. Life is not a bed of roses you either sow thorns or the thorns from the rose you thought life was would prick you without knowing but dear friend there must be thorns.Expensive shoes ,bags ,cloths? Is that really your problem? This are trivial things to get a head ache about. This are temporary things and all would pass. We brought nothing to this world and we would most definitely take nothing.I’d give you the she’s and bags but please kindly ask and save your heart the accumulation of garbage thoughts and intentions.
Dear contentment ,things are not always as they seem for the things that are seen are temporal while the things unseen are permanent so please do aways with the unseen bitterness,envy and jealousy which are now temporal because you have brought it to the open. Things are not as they seem because there is a story behind every success so if you pray to be someone , then get ready to face the same problems and issues.Dear contentment one last advice ,go on your knees and repent.
Lots of Love,