Time and Sorrow

“Time heals all wounds”, they say
but every passing day I gain fresh memories
as though the scars left by your departure were being pecked upon
reopening wounds and leaving my heart bleeding again
This time, our good friend, Dr. time, failed to heal my hurt
Instead it reminds me of the memories we once shared
and I would never get to share with you again:
So much for being a qualified doctor

It was 2.49pm I last received your call,
a Saturday afternoon we last spoke
It was a sunny one
as I remember not having on the mocha coloured sweater you got me
All seemed bright and fair:
The flowers blossomed and the birds chirped
It was the beginning of spring and the daffodils were out
I wished this spring would have been as lovely as the rest
but its loveliness was lost when you breath your last
So with every spring comes a reminder of the pain,
and at 2.49pm the sound of the phone replays in my head.

There is a time to mourn and that time has been everyday since you left
in the summer where all things bloom
and where the smiles on people faces are brighter than ever
I am embraced with the reminder of your absence
because last summer you gave me gardenia, and each time
I can smell them as if it were yesterday you gave me

It was 1.00pm during the fall your intermittent took place:
When the leaves had lost it colours
and the trees were ready to shed their leaves
It was a well selected time
since you were being laid to rest
and the leaves from the trees beautified your burial place.
I hand picked special fall flowers;
the same kind you got for me on our first date in the fall
A mixture of dahlia and camellia

Now in the cold winter nights
I wished my mind be frozen so I do not remember you.
I am still hurting much
It was 11.59pm, a minute to christmas;
the day you told me you loved me,
and gave me a heart shaped icicle you made with the snow
I remember we stood by the luculia
beautiful pink flower in your parents garden
You picked one from its stalk
and beautified my hair with it.

It has been 365 days, 22hours, 10minutes, 22 seconds and counting
Still It feels like yesterday
the clocks had no tocks but only ticks,
as time seemed to stand still when I was told the news
I felt the colours in the sky drain
and suddenly I felt as though I was in all seasons
My heart was in chaos;
we had seasons of beautiful memories with sparkles of little misunderstanding
We had 24hours to ourselves and we both shared
Now those 24hours are for me alone and with 12hours I use to relieve the times we shared by myself
I end up walking through emptiness,
with tear filled eyes

with each season that passes by I remember you
As the clock ticks and gradually regain its tock
I think of each minute we had
Time heal wounds but still I’m hurting
Our shared memories get fresh with each season and time that goes by
Hopefully I would not have to wait another year
For time to finally stich up the hole you left in my heart

 

Originally written in september 2015

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