Yesterday’s girl; Today’s woman

It took sweat and tears to become the lady you see
A whole lot of the Lord’s mercy and grace
It took internal and external scars to walk tall
There was a lot of laughter too
A lot of happy memories were made
but lots of , I shouldn’t haves
Regret you call it , Yes
but experiences that taught me the hard way

I can only think of my daughters
I took this bullets for you
bullets I wished I didn’t take
as it cost me part of my innocence
and part of my thoughts
My mind replaying and replaying it
but i wouldn’t sulk over all i’ve been through
although I am saddened each time I think back

If i could cage my thoughts permanently i would
so it doesn’t fly each time
and leave me wishing I could turn back the hands of time
to that minute where it all started
where I let you into my apartment
where i let you peck me on the cheek and hand
where I let you move your fingers
where I let myself move too close

My scars are your lessons
Hurdles to avoid
When he starts talking of how his body feels when he is around you
Telling you of his vulgar experience with ladies
sparing you no details so your mind starts imagining yourself in their place
It’s all part of his plan
to play on your emotions and let your emotions run
panting and pacing towards him

Your innocence is precious
I’d say to the girl of yesterday
not just the part of it but the whole of it
Once you let your guard down your mind is tampered with
and with each encounter you are eager to explore further
Even though the thorns sting ,
You are eager to see the petals
smell the roses of lust

You never forget your first encounter
It may not have lead to the loss of your jewel
but every closeness breaks the glass that shields that jewel
Yesterday’s girl
don’t see your self as strong when it comes with the matters of the heart
so you let anyone come in and dance to his tune
It might be easy for you to brush yourself up
but their foot prints are left on your heart
and finger print in your soul

Today’s woman be on guard
and  keep it that way
bury your head in your fight for your innocence
Wear your armour to shield you from the darts of your lust
raise your standards way higher than your heels
stand for something or you’d fall for anything momma said
make your decisions
think of the consequences before you act
Remember how you feel after
and how your thoughts haunt you
thinking of how God abhors it

Think of your yesterday’s girl
all the lovely memories
and lessons you learnt
The lovely people you met especially your family
The few perfect gentlemen that you came across
and build your today’s woman
I’m the yesterday’s girl but also the today’s woman

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