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Pyramid

You are standing on the hard work
and loyalty of many
the least you can do is look down
to see how their backs
making you stand tall
How their sweat waters the floor
keeping you blooming
their sleepless night
keeping you from tripping
their knees bent to the floor
and hands grazed by the stones
the least you can do is look down
and appreciate them all
You are at the top of the pyramid
because many hands, shoulders and backs
support you

Outside yourself

One day I hope you look outside yourself
seeing yourself as a help
Instead of one needing of help
seeing yourself as a servant
Instead of one to be served
No longer seeing yourself as the victim each time,
A victim that life has wronged
without considering in what way the other has been wronged
To you the measure of what extent they have been wronged  may be little
but don’t use your own wrong as a measure for another’s

You use anyone that comes your way
to soothe you fleshly needs and fleeting emotions;
Unsure care and affection
I hope you remember that that person is human too
Just as weak and fragile
no  matter how strong they appear
deserving of the kind of love you think you deserve
and most undeserving of your uncertainty and deceit

May you remember that we are different
and selflessly be patient to learn the differences
If you expect more please give more
If they fall short please forgive and embrace
You fall short so many times
You don’t walk in a straight line
while hiding things you should share freely and truly along the way
If you expect your sorries to be accepted each time
then may you gain sense to accept another’s sorry
when you are given

Have compassion mixed with all that wisdom you think you have
less it be seen as foolish
as what need is it
To be “all” knowing and understanding in words
but shallow in heart and application
your depth is no deeper than a puddle at the road side
be gone with your heavy head and risen shoulders!!


written months back

Now breath is gone

I wondered,

Do they see all the messages of the people that cared
and showed it or those that
cared but kept silent
Now they are better friends when you are gone
I’m sure that’s not the case,
but these are people’s way of saying
all they wanted to say but never did
They hope they are heard
now breath is gone

He likes to hear it too

Behind that strong covering is softness and affection
With every strength he guides you till you feel secure
he compliments you as his lady with beautiful words that sink deep
words you remember days and months after it’s said

so why do you delay when it comes to your turn
no, why wait for your turn
to tell him how much he means to you

It’s amazing how you could contain your feelings so much
I thought you were crazy in love with him
well you sure are one comported madly in love lady
a gentle madness I’d say ; how absurd!

Tell him how blessed you are to have him
how you are undeserving of his love unless you see his love as a right
My fair lady it is a gift not from him but from God
to let one of His sons love you wholly and fully with all patience and perseverance
You aren’t all that and a bag of chips, ok may be you are a bag of chips

Let him listen to you make noise to your friends about him for a change
You have no friends you say ?
Ok  surely that’s a lie but I’d let you go on that one
how about your family or what your generation calls social media
surely you can let everyone know how amazing he is

Ok , I get you
you like your life on private but I see you share every other thing
Don’t get me started on how you leave hints and clues for him
how you appreciate how he talks about you so much
and give off a sad look when he doesn’t for a few days

Now that’s being one sided
You can’t want to be treated like a lady
when you aren’t being feminine toward him that loves you or whom you love
You want to be treated equally then treat him equally right

I understand you are old school
but don’t let him think you have no feeling or like you see him as all wood and steel
You like it when he calls you all the pet names;
the sugar plums , the dumplings, the precious and the queen
Marking you out as “keep off” before his friends

How he speaks highly of you before his mum
I see you blushing away at the thought of it now
I’m sure you feel on cloud 9 or past it
It’s simmering in isn’t it? Oh snap out of it !!

I believe he’d like to feel same too
It would encourage him even more to be all man yet all compassionate and loving
All I’m saying is, he likes to hear it too

I owed it to myself

I owed it to myself to tell you i loved  you
to punch fear and all it’s doubts away
to give anxiety and worry a haemorrhage in the brain
when it wouldn’t let my mind rest

I owed it to myself to love you fully and completely
because loving you was what I needed to gain my sanity
I felt at home and not at home
at home in your arms but pressing forward toward our final destination

I owed it to myself to open my heart bare before it turned sour
filled with regrets and pain of what wasn’t said
and if care was not taken It wouldn’t be said
so I decided to carelessly surrender to the truth of my heart

I owed it to myself to Love you when you did not deserve it
to be kind to you when you did not want to be towards me
to show you all the love I had for you if that minute came
the minute I thought would be perfect to display and surrender it

I owed it to myself not to let the anticipation for your reaction die
your reaction I thought out in my head
so I held on to it irrespective of the reality of your present actions
I was happy with all my mind imagined and thought

I owe it to you to pay myself all the debt
every penny and every pound of love to you
To prevent hate and resentment from gaining root and growing
Not thinking of what could have been but hoping toward what would be

I owe it to you to make you see my words are important to me
and I meant and mean all that was said ;physically, emotionally and spiritually
from my heart to yours, and my lips to your ears
I hope I pay you and I everything and be debt free at last
but still loving you like I ought to and you ought to be loved

Chasing waterfalls

We walked every morning towards the river
Hand in hand we enjoyed the daily view and quiet discussions
We shared how much we cared about each other
and in the silence of our thoughts
and minute stares understood what we said
We had committed to each other with no words
or popular stamps
and we were both content or so it seemed
we continued each morning from where we stopped
each time using a car
walking as far as our feet , conversation and adrenaline took us
the view of the river got beautiful as we walked it’s length along the path
as the days went by we started hearing people talk
No, we started listening to wagging tongues 

as they wondered where we were walking to 
at first it did not bother us 
but soon we started being  embarrassed as they said we won’t make it 
soon our walks got quiet and we could not understand our silence
we no longer held hands or cuddled as we walked 
then through the pin drop walk we finally came to the end 
as the rage of the water started sounding more strongly 
and we could feel drops on our cold bodies 
just like it touched the rocks at the bottom 
then looking up at the very end we realised because we listened to people
What started off as a walk and smooth adventure
Left us  feeling exhausted as though we were chasing waterfalls 

Who’s loving you ?

I pondered long and hard
It wasn’t just a line from the Jackson 5 song
they wanted to know
and for me to answer that means I knew
and with that knowledge there must have been evidence

Clear to me but I couldn’t help but wonder
No , not wonder who’s loving me
but wonder “why ?”
surely there was a reason they asked
did I give off the characteristics of one being loved or
did I look as though I was starved love

Did i show that someone was happy to be around me
someone was strong enough to walk me through my weaknesses
someone showed me kindness and was patient towards me
did i show that someone made it his daily choice to reach out to me
and that I did same when he did

or did I show that i am being ignored
or treated like a stranger
after months of communication or what seemed like it
One being a pest and needy
seen as a beggar and in denial
One whose kindness is trampled on
One whose good has been forgotten due to grudges stored

Surely not. I’d say I gave off one who’s being loved
Loved in all respect and in every detail
and by this love , I gain the strength to love
not just in word but in deed
not just in soul but with might
Who’s loving me ?
He is the one loving me
My whole countenance says, “I have found him whom my soul loves”