Tag Archive | death

Now breath is gone

I wondered,

Do they see all the messages of the people that cared
and showed it or those that
cared but kept silent
Now they are better friends when you are gone
I’m sure that’s not the case,
but these are people’s way of saying
all they wanted to say but never did
They hope they are heard
now breath is gone

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Time and Sorrow

“Time heals all wounds”, they say
but every passing day I gain fresh memories
as though the scars left by your departure were being pecked upon
reopening wounds and leaving my heart bleeding again
This time, our good friend, Dr. time, failed to heal my hurt
Instead it reminds me of the memories we once shared
and I would never get to share with you again:
So much for being a qualified doctor

It was 2.49pm I last received your call,
a Saturday afternoon we last spoke
It was a sunny one
as I remember not having on the mocha coloured sweater you got me
All seemed bright and fair:
The flowers blossomed and the birds chirped
It was the beginning of spring and the daffodils were out
I wished this spring would have been as lovely as the rest
but its loveliness was lost when you breath your last
So with every spring comes a reminder of the pain,
and at 2.49pm the sound of the phone replays in my head.

There is a time to mourn and that time has been everyday since you left
in the summer where all things bloom
and where the smiles on people faces are brighter than ever
I am embraced with the reminder of your absence
because last summer you gave me gardenia, and each time
I can smell them as if it were yesterday you gave me

It was 1.00pm during the fall your intermittent took place:
When the leaves had lost it colours
and the trees were ready to shed their leaves
It was a well selected time
since you were being laid to rest
and the leaves from the trees beautified your burial place.
I hand picked special fall flowers;
the same kind you got for me on our first date in the fall
A mixture of dahlia and camellia

Now in the cold winter nights
I wished my mind be frozen so I do not remember you.
I am still hurting much
It was 11.59pm, a minute to christmas;
the day you told me you loved me,
and gave me a heart shaped icicle you made with the snow
I remember we stood by the luculia
beautiful pink flower in your parents garden
You picked one from its stalk
and beautified my hair with it.

It has been 365 days, 22hours, 10minutes, 22 seconds and counting
Still It feels like yesterday
the clocks had no tocks but only ticks,
as time seemed to stand still when I was told the news
I felt the colours in the sky drain
and suddenly I felt as though I was in all seasons
My heart was in chaos;
we had seasons of beautiful memories with sparkles of little misunderstanding
We had 24hours to ourselves and we both shared
Now those 24hours are for me alone and with 12hours I use to relieve the times we shared by myself
I end up walking through emptiness,
with tear filled eyes

with each season that passes by I remember you
As the clock ticks and gradually regain its tock
I think of each minute we had
Time heal wounds but still I’m hurting
Our shared memories get fresh with each season and time that goes by
Hopefully I would not have to wait another year
For time to finally stich up the hole you left in my heart

 

Originally written in september 2015

Scars Speak

The scars on my face
remind me I am no more a child
It tells me you went through puberty
but a few tell me you should have cut down on your fatty food

The scar in the middle of my chest
reminds me of how playful I was, and still am
however, It reminds me how carefree I was
How being a girl never stopped me from taking physical risks
It tells me I was not afraid to climb Air Conditioner protectors
But would scream like a girl once the scar is created
I look down between my chest over 10 years later,
It still seats there

The scar on my bum tells me I am always on the move,
Even in my sleep,
as a 6 year old
That my imaginations run wide
I’m a dreamer
to the extent of thinking a lantern to be the toilet seat
It  definitely reminds me that my bum is sensitive

The scar on my elbow tells me of how much I trust family
How well I trust my junior brother
How silly I am to think a 4 year old could lift a 10 year old
It tells me pain may not be felt when  glass tears ones skin
bleeding in ignorance doesn’t hurt but the knowledge of the
wound makes one sore
It tells me healing may hurt

The scar on my right leg
left after a boil
tells me wounds may heal
but not enough to be forgotten
that scars would be left if you do not let the hurt be

The scar on my hand
tells me to be careful with hot things
to concentrate
and pay attention to the work at hand

All my scars tell me I’ve lived
It tells me I’ve endured
That I have a story
It tells me that I’m mortal
We are finely moulded clay,
That this flesh breaks
We are like vapour

The scars within
Which no eye can see
left by losing loved ones or
gaining an award or recognition
being loved or forsaken
Tell me, I’m more than skin
That the times I hurt are my scars
The times I laugh are my pleasant scars

In it’s totality , all the scars tell me
I bleed both within and without
that all would pass and soon be  a memory
but soon the memory would be no more

They tell me I can be broken
yet still live as though nothing happened
they remind me i conquered
both physically and emotionally

I am full of scars
Scars that speaks

Last night of her first day

I never knew things would turn out this way my friend. Hadriel is still hurting and misses you .He recalls the moments you both shared and these are the words he has to say of that day the night stole you away from him.

If she had run away at least I would know that  she was here somewhere
breathing the same air even if it be from a distant
Each waking day may be painful but i would have been assured that i’d  see you again on earth
If she had been cheating on me i’d prefer that at least she’d still be here for me to share a part of my heart with her,
To forgive her and keep her as mine forever
If she couldn’t give birth ,then well and good for the Lord dimmed it fit we have no child
but still she’d be by my side,
A mother to my every day 

 It was the last night of her first day she said I do
We shared our vows with each other
I replay the resounds of your affectionate giggles as I read mine
it made my eyes dance with joy
Then you said I do but I never knew it would be the beginning of last 
we had an evening wedding as the sun set yet you stood out my sunshine
An evening filled with joy

There were butterflies in my heart
butterflies that found a garden within as they saw a flower treasured up in it
They couldn’t resist your sweet nectar my darling
those butterflies I now cherish

last night you gave me your body and soul
You loved me so much that you wanted to share your pride with your husband 
Keeping yourself for me till our wedding night 
In anticipation I waited the whole day for that night , and for forever with you
You kept your treasure for me I said ,but no not for me but for the glory of God for you feared Him
i waited eagerly (as the Lord gave me the strength)
yet patiently for the day to proceed to a night i’d remember

It was meant to be our beginning to forever
As the day broke, i anticipated looking into your eyes when you would wake up
but the morning did not usher in the sparkles in your eyes
rather tears in my eye as i beheld your lukewarm body transiting to coldness
the sun was rising yet my sunshine that lay beside me could rise no more
The day before, and the night that followed was the last night of her first day with Uriella as my wife

Uriella, my friend these are the words of your beloved Hardiel.

Don’t Loose Faith – Be Comforted

Written on May 17th.TO ME FROM MY FRIEND. now sharing it with YOU

My dear friend
You weep because you no longer see him
You weep because you no longer hear his voice
You weep because he has gone to rest
But Weep no more my dear friend
Weep no more for the one you called friend
Weep no more because he has gone to rest with the giver of life

Sad as it maybe
Sad as I know you feel
That which I cannot completely understand but I wish I could,
So I would have the right words to say to you..

My speech fails me
But I’ll put words to paper
My dear friend ,
Soldier in Christ,
I beg you
Don’t loose faith
I’ve prayed for a word from God
That would give you peace during this time..

We don’t understand the ways of God
But Rest in this my dear friend,
Nothing can separate you from the love of God
Not even how you’re feeling
God is closer to you than you think

I pray that The peace of the Lord that surpasses all human understanding be with you
I pray that He comforts you
I pray that He opens your eyes to see His will even in this
I pray that as painful as it is He gives you the strength to praise His name

You say you can’t and it’s true you can’t
Not on your own
Remember His grace is sufficient

I Hope this gives you some comfort during this time
I’m here whenever you need just
Give me a buzz and I’ll ‘bee’ there ( get it 🐝🐝)

COLOURS OF DEATH

Plans are made daily for time yet  to come

A checklist for the future is drawn out of what we wish to do

Tasks to be tackled now ,are pushed to a later date

The fact that no one knows tomorrow skip over our little heads

All we have  is hope , belief that tomorrow will come

The days task haven’t been completed

Yesterday’s plan did not see an end

Two partners, out of the unending list , work hand in hand

They terminate ones plans before giving them a chance to  be fulfilled .

Sickness or disease is the first ,you approach your victim with little or no warning

You disguise yourself as a minor issue until you fully take your root in your victim

You make your home in people ,both young and old

You present your self in different levels of severity

How stubborn can you be, you pathetic loser ?

How much does your mind fail you that you forget you have been conquered thousands of years ago ?

As i laugh in your face i tell you this ,In the past ,present and future you have been used .

The glory of God has been shown in and through those you afflict and have  afflicted

Peter’s mum,lazarus ,the woman with the issue of blood ,the leper,the blind man at the beautiful gate;

The list could go on and on  .

Testimonies have been birthed through you and have made those who do not believe in Christ ,believe.

You were and still are used to manifest Christ as our healer

As for your partner, i would say has many colours

To the afflicted ,he is blue like the sky ;a call to serenity and calmness away from pain

To the loved ones of the afflicted he is black ,darkness that has been poured on hearts that lose their loved ones

To the person who dies in christ ,death is gold ;A transition from mortality to immortality

To those who claim to be  ignorant about Christ,death is  yellow ;accompanied by great heat too much to bare

And to my dear friend ,i believe death was blue and gold to you

A transit to peace,joy and eternal life with our Lord and saviour.

Although the tears that run down our cheeks have been ignited,

 Our hearts burdened ,we hope to see you some day .