Tag Archive | flower

No butterflies

The nectar has been sucked out 
and the flowers are left with no taste 
or reason to be wanted or perched on
It’s nourishment still there and fragrance as strong as ever 
but it’s juices has been drained 
now she is left thinking 
wondering if she was flocked around for what she could offer 
that in that particular season
that was the only flower that produced sweet and smooth nectar 
and how much satisfaction they got 
 now it is all gone she is left alone
 
Loved by none only by passing shadows 
Wondering when her petals would fall
or someone would love her so much 
without a care in the world if she satisfies or not 
but would be please with fragrance she gives 
even to strangers passing 
She isn’t ashamed to flourish
Seeing the wondering hearts of why she has been left all this while 

Once caterpillars assembled round her 
but once they break out they fly away 
or a few break out and stay for a little while 
as her nectar is soothing and nourishing just for the time being
no fussy feeling left in her stomach days after 
or blushing petals at their presence 
just thought of what could have been 

Wondering If he was interested in something more
Whether she lost the reason he stayed or not 
but yet content with the person she is
and waiting till the next season
when the nectar is restored 
and is much more sweeter than before 
but the flower doesn’t point accusing fingers so much
he isn’t a botanist and doesn’t understand 
He doesn’t understand the times and the seasons
and isn’t acquainted with the lasting beauty in change and growing together 

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Yesterday’s girl; Today’s woman

It took sweat and tears to become the lady you see
A whole lot of the Lord’s mercy and grace
It took internal and external scars to walk tall
There was a lot of laughter too
A lot of happy memories were made
but lots of , I shouldn’t haves
Regret you call it , Yes
but experiences that taught me the hard way

I can only think of my daughters
I took this bullets for you
bullets I wished I didn’t take
as it cost me part of my innocence
and part of my thoughts
My mind replaying and replaying it
but i wouldn’t sulk over all i’ve been through
although I am saddened each time I think back

If i could cage my thoughts permanently i would
so it doesn’t fly each time
and leave me wishing I could turn back the hands of time
to that minute where it all started
where I let you into my apartment
where i let you peck me on the cheek and hand
where I let you move your fingers
where I let myself move too close

My scars are your lessons
Hurdles to avoid
When he starts talking of how his body feels when he is around you
Telling you of his vulgar experience with ladies
sparing you no details so your mind starts imagining yourself in their place
It’s all part of his plan
to play on your emotions and let your emotions run
panting and pacing towards him

Your innocence is precious
I’d say to the girl of yesterday
not just the part of it but the whole of it
Once you let your guard down your mind is tampered with
and with each encounter you are eager to explore further
Even though the thorns sting ,
You are eager to see the petals
smell the roses of lust

You never forget your first encounter
It may not have lead to the loss of your jewel
but every closeness breaks the glass that shields that jewel
Yesterday’s girl
don’t see your self as strong when it comes with the matters of the heart
so you let anyone come in and dance to his tune
It might be easy for you to brush yourself up
but their foot prints are left on your heart
and finger print in your soul

Today’s woman be on guard
and  keep it that way
bury your head in your fight for your innocence
Wear your armour to shield you from the darts of your lust
raise your standards way higher than your heels
stand for something or you’d fall for anything momma said
make your decisions
think of the consequences before you act
Remember how you feel after
and how your thoughts haunt you
thinking of how God abhors it

Think of your yesterday’s girl
all the lovely memories
and lessons you learnt
The lovely people you met especially your family
The few perfect gentlemen that you came across
and build your today’s woman
I’m the yesterday’s girl but also the today’s woman

Time and Sorrow

“Time heals all wounds”, they say
but every passing day I gain fresh memories
as though the scars left by your departure were being pecked upon
reopening wounds and leaving my heart bleeding again
This time, our good friend, Dr. time, failed to heal my hurt
Instead it reminds me of the memories we once shared
and I would never get to share with you again:
So much for being a qualified doctor

It was 2.49pm I last received your call,
a Saturday afternoon we last spoke
It was a sunny one
as I remember not having on the mocha coloured sweater you got me
All seemed bright and fair:
The flowers blossomed and the birds chirped
It was the beginning of spring and the daffodils were out
I wished this spring would have been as lovely as the rest
but its loveliness was lost when you breath your last
So with every spring comes a reminder of the pain,
and at 2.49pm the sound of the phone replays in my head.

There is a time to mourn and that time has been everyday since you left
in the summer where all things bloom
and where the smiles on people faces are brighter than ever
I am embraced with the reminder of your absence
because last summer you gave me gardenia, and each time
I can smell them as if it were yesterday you gave me

It was 1.00pm during the fall your intermittent took place:
When the leaves had lost it colours
and the trees were ready to shed their leaves
It was a well selected time
since you were being laid to rest
and the leaves from the trees beautified your burial place.
I hand picked special fall flowers;
the same kind you got for me on our first date in the fall
A mixture of dahlia and camellia

Now in the cold winter nights
I wished my mind be frozen so I do not remember you.
I am still hurting much
It was 11.59pm, a minute to christmas;
the day you told me you loved me,
and gave me a heart shaped icicle you made with the snow
I remember we stood by the luculia
beautiful pink flower in your parents garden
You picked one from its stalk
and beautified my hair with it.

It has been 365 days, 22hours, 10minutes, 22 seconds and counting
Still It feels like yesterday
the clocks had no tocks but only ticks,
as time seemed to stand still when I was told the news
I felt the colours in the sky drain
and suddenly I felt as though I was in all seasons
My heart was in chaos;
we had seasons of beautiful memories with sparkles of little misunderstanding
We had 24hours to ourselves and we both shared
Now those 24hours are for me alone and with 12hours I use to relieve the times we shared by myself
I end up walking through emptiness,
with tear filled eyes

with each season that passes by I remember you
As the clock ticks and gradually regain its tock
I think of each minute we had
Time heal wounds but still I’m hurting
Our shared memories get fresh with each season and time that goes by
Hopefully I would not have to wait another year
For time to finally stich up the hole you left in my heart

 

Originally written in september 2015