Tag Archive | friend

Now breath is gone

I wondered,

Do they see all the messages of the people that cared
and showed it or those that
cared but kept silent
Now they are better friends when you are gone
I’m sure that’s not the case,
but these are people’s way of saying
all they wanted to say but never did
They hope they are heard
now breath is gone

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I’m fine

These are words that mean more than it implies
It’s not literal don’t be fooled
It’s embellished and added with hidden meanings
Aimed at warding of further questions
an answer to encourage further questions
that may lead to the main answer
sometimes it’s literal but that’s 5% of the time
give or take

I’d tell you what he or she means
behind the I’m fine is or may be ;
I’m confused and disheartened
Life hasn’t been great
lonely and sad
crushed and broken
I’m hurting and I don’t really want to talk to you
or I’m hurting and I want you to stay longer

The truth is,
you can tell what these words truly mean
just put the conversation on the scale
when last did you guys speak
what did you hear from someone that made you ask,
How are you ?
may be from you can reach a good conclusion

I’m fine but please be patient to hear the true meaning
or at least ask further questions
that way he or she knows you aren’t rushing off
or ticking the box of questions
going through your list as you start a conversation

How are you ? I’m fine
but what’s behind that answer ?
It’s more than a thousand words
what is felt?  More than a million volts
but what is expressed? these two little words

Please Cry.

I know you’re trying to be strong
I can feel your pressure rise
as though the oceans are trapped within
It’s waves tugging at your heart and mind
As you remember the times you shared with your loved one
The memories seem to propel confusion
False sense of strength
I know we have never seen you break down
or be vulnerable before us
But we know when you are hurting
You become oblivious
and denial starts to set in

I have been where you are at
I have lost a friend and a colleague
If those relationships seem too distance for you
For me to make you realise that I’ve been in your shoes
I have lost a family member
Every loss is hard
Whether blood or not
The strength of the relationship is what makes it even harder

If your loss is a heart break
Someone not seeing your worth
No matter how hard you tried to show them
Or may be you are just homesick or miss someone so badly
I’ve been there too
but I wouldn’t say I know exactly how the shoes feel
Same shoes but different feet belonging to different people
So No matter when that feeling comes or how it feels
It’s important to express it
Express it in a way you find relief and still have your sanity

Don’t hold back
Scream if you must
No!! you must
So please scream and let the walls hear your pain
Don’t spare our ears
May be that way we’d know how to sympathise with you
Let the oceans flow freely
Ask all the questions in your mind
but don’t beat yourself up
Ugly cry , because those are the tears that speak more
It shows the beauty of the relationship
The one you shared with the one your heartaches for

Don’t commit suicide
Don’t lose trust in God
Don’t be afraid of a hug
or of the sympathies you might get
Don’t be afraid to give your love to someone else
We know you are human
and it hurts
No, we won’t see you as weak
We all know you aren’t weak
You are very strong
strong enough to push out all your pain
Laying it bare through your eyes and before all eyes
Whether those around genuinely sympathise or not

In the shock of the moment
and blank stare into space
Let your pumps open up
Let your eyes see through the streams that flow
as your minds continue to race
and finally slows down its speed
Your heart finding relief
the pressure within steps down
Let your eyes eventually feel cool
As the streams dry out
The same coolness your heart feels

All these are beautiful feelings
but you can only feel joy and comfort
when you let go
Let go of the tears we see you trying to hold back
Please don’t spare your sheets or pillow
They’ve shared your happy thoughts
Good and horrible dreams
I’m sure they’d love to share your pain too
They’ve heard you talk in your sleep and snore away
I’m sure they can handle your screams

Let your mascara run after a heart break
There is nothing pretty about pain
but there is so much beauty in healing
and every process that comes with it
We know you might not let it all out in one go
No one ever does and I doubt if that’s possible
Or it doesn’t just take one session to heal
but please start the first session
and other sessions would get easier
till you find complete relief

You want my honest advice
Or words of wisdom
To strengthen you at this time
While I embrace you and pat your back
then please take this short,
but powerful advice with all the love in my heart
One of the best things I do when in pain
Are you ready for this?
Ok here it is sunshine
please my darling, Cry.

Not everyone wants your testimony

Before you pray for someone
don’t assume you know what they want
Just because they are a certain age or at a certain stage in life
or because the majority of people in that age seem to want the same thing
or hope for the same thing

Everything is going more than you expected,
that’s lovely but your expectation is not the same as others
so no more using yourself as a point of contact
when you aren’t sure if the person wants you to be the point
Simply ask the person you want to pray for, their expectation
and pray for them specific to their need
If they want what you have ,
then you can wish them the same and pray for them

You are happy with your testimony
but not everyone would be happy if they had your testimony
even if you both are at the same level, age
or have had similar breakthrough
what if the last breakthrough was the last similarity between you  both

Are you going into university , getting married,
starting a business, having a baby etc that’s beautiful
when people come to celebrate with you
If you feel the need to help them attain what you have
based on your assumption that they want to be where you’re at, don’t
or If you feel the need to wish them the same ,don’t
show your gratitude and pray that God grants them the desire of their heart
according to His will

Worded Heart’s Relationship

I never promised that I’d love you
That i’d be faithful with my words
that when my heart speaks
I’d run to you
to share it with you

But I promised I’d never leave you
Ok, I did not
but with all my heart goes through
you should know that
every experience is a promise
that i’d share it with you

My pen has kissed the papers so many times
my handwriting flowing differently almost every time
my fingers have loved the keys so much
my ears are ready to hear the rhythm
produced from my heart to my fingers
and then on the keyboard
My eyes dancing as it sees
the words flowing on the screen

This relationship has caused my feet
to stand before audience
my body to move as i act out each word
or a handful or more of the words I write
solo act or group act
or just standing there
with my lips moving to the rhythm of words
beautified with experience, truth and fiction

It’s been three years
Since I decided to make this relationship stronger
After more than a decade of hiding
I chose PDA (public display of affection)
To put us out there like  never before

I have loved every minute of our relationship
My heart loves the fingers with words not seen
my finger loves the pen with words I can see
My fingers extends this kindness to the keyboards
so all eyes can see

This is to three years
of having a worded heart relationship
openly displayed for eyes i do not see
to interfere freely
to be a part of this journey

three years anniversary !!!!

To my mother- in- law

I have just said “yes” to your son
It is the right time to start calling you mum,
my second mum
Thank you and dad for raising a king
for raising a soldier, my soldier
He fought tirelessly for my heart
for sharing with him proverbs 31 vs 10 -31
He says i fit beautifully into that picture
though i’d argue i do not
and i believe i do not
He only sees God’s mercy covering me
i’d confess

I’m thankful he broke your water and came when he did
I’m thankful to God for giving you the strength to push him out
you have nurtured him spirit, soul and body
showed him how a woman should treat a man
by treating his dad right
I mean you can see it all over dad’s face
the man is still in love after all these years
You showed him how a woman reacts
when treated like the flower she is
she releases all her nectar
and her fragrances burst out on him

I do not wish to take your place
but i wish to continue the care you have given him
to satisfy his daily needs in our union
to be that listening ear
The  firm yet comfortable shoulder that he could lean on
to make him feel warm in my embrace
and secure when he comes home

Would he go hungry ,
no mum for with everything i am i’d feed him
His spirit ,soul and body would be fed fat in every way
Smiles would be his daily expression
Would he go thirsty ? no mum for with the streams of my love
I’d quench his thirsts
would he go without cloths ?
no mum , if money be the hindrance
I’d hand make his garment all through the night for him
like a king he is, I’d cloth him

would he ever be lonely ?
yes mum
If i only offer him  myself ,
all the physical aspect of me , then he will
but no mum because we both have christ
who is our strength and daily gives us strength
to be there for each other when we are at far distances
I am ever thankful for a mother in law like you
for giving me your son
Thank you for carrying him for 9months

Fear not mother-in-law
I would love and cherish him daily
He is my beloved
and I am his
His love would continue to rest in my heart
and mine in his  ❤ ❤

When the circle gets smaller

Our differences are too big
We have different believes
We aren’t the same height
We are at different levels financially,
spiritually an mentally
pride has gotten in the way

We are from different states and countries
You don’t trust that I’d never say an evil word behind your back
You dint trust that I’m praying for you
You don’t trust that I’d cry with you
I am married with a family to call my own
You are single and living as you like
or so it seems

We’ve gone to different parts of the world
We’ve grown to have different interests
Our hearts are chasing after different things
Our goals are reaching different nets
Our echoes of need traveling at different distances

You have fallen ill
So many medications and prescriptions by your side  stool
Frail and shrivel we have become
Time is no longer on our side
but we are clenching to every minute
and  any minute from now ,
We’d be unplugged
Returning to what eternity holds for us

These are when the circle gets smaller
It started with 10 of us at the play ground in our neighbourhood
A big circumference we had
then we became 7 at nursery,
6 at primary school, 5 at boarding school
4 at university, 4 at our various careers
fighting our differences fiercely
and distance with virtual messaging
now in the advanced world,
we lost one to age,
Now 3, we became a triangle