Tag Archive | grace

22+ Stages

Life is an open book but even more so a stage
We are the actors with no scripts
We create it as we go along
No, it was created for us before we came along
The interesting part, you don’t act alone
It’s no solo performance

However you don’t get to meet all other actors at once
They pop up as you go along
The first actress you meet is your mum
then the nurses and doctors
Finally, the rest of the family
but you aren’t aware of your environment

Each scene you play at first is unplanned
but as you play along you get use to the actors
If they debut more than once that is

Are you ready to go through each stage?
To watch each scene of this particular life
Scenes bursting with emotions, suspense, struggle,
transformation, hope, mercy, grace, evil of the heart etc

“Ladies and gentlemen”, said the stage director
This is the first stage – Umbilical chord wrapped around her neck
See her coming out the wrong side out, bottoms up!!
She’s God’s vessel of mercy
Yes, all is well
It’s a girl! the doctor exclaimed at 10.45 am

Stage 2 – She’s learning how to seat and crawl . Suckling and trying to get attention by crying and screaming

Stage 3 to 7 – Nursery school into primary school. The girl sings and likes dancing . Competitive and likes to be appreciated for hard work especially by her parents . She notices boys and starts developing her crushes. Cute isn’t it , but not for long .

Stage 8 to 10- She realises the talents placed in her. She leads the dance team , acts in school plays and takes the lead in songs ( by the rivers of babylon). A particular play she acted as a french maiden. She also plays the violin , writes and leads the dance group both african dance and contemporary . Athletic feet, this scene is one you should take note of. How she tries to be in every area of the event to help her house win- running, high jump, marathon, relay race etc . We’d take a further look at the marathon; see how she almost faints but once her coach cries out, do it for your parents she appears to keep going and finally at the finish line collapses in the arms of her dad. See how she cries to her mum when a boy says he likes her , so pure and naive. Party planner and organiser. Her Party planning encounter at this stage, at primary school but this didn’t seat well with the authorities but the food had to be shared . Encounter with her cousin while acting , evidence that evil abides in all stages of life in the heart of man.

Stage 11 to 12- These are the pre- turbulent stage as you can see it is set up with many hurdles as she needs to go through this to become a teen. She gets competitive and starts becoming outspoken . Standing up for her right even if it is rudely done but see she is fragile with her heart knitted deep to her family. Hear how she cries when dropped off at school. When scolded or doesn’t get her way, she how she carries herself angrily and serving face . Hits her head on the bed or wall to show she’s angry. “That’s gonna hurt” , someone exclaimed from the audience. “Yes but no because wound self afflicted doesn’t usually hurt since one is mentally prepared for it” , said another . This stage she started high school. She took part in a beauty pageant and came third overall but fell ill right after as you can see. “A good means to use to get an exit back home”,  a lady said. She is the queen of home sickness as you see how she sneaks to get the house mistresses’ phone to give her dad a call. Throwing her dad into panic mode as he thinks something has gone wrong with his daughter and his wife. At this stage , she took part in a dance competition for only freshers, infront of the whole school audience and came out third.

Stage 13 to 15 -The turbulent stage as a teenager
Her body starts changing in full force. See how more guys start strutting by for her attention without a care in the world of how grown she has suddenly become. At this stage her mean girl attitude towards guys had fully developed and how she paid no mind to them. She embarrasses them with every fibre of her being. Rude isn’t she ?! . Few scenes later,” she looks worried as you may notice “, said the stage director . The reason , well at this stage all her friends had recieved their visitor . The trophy of womanwhood and her shelf was still empty . She hadn’t visited and she was one of the last people for it to hit. Into prayer of agreement they went . * The audience laughs* so young and eager at this time but at other stages you see mixed reactions to this precious visitor she waited and prayed for. Seeking to grow into a woman but still crying to go home from high school. Party planner for most class parties , see how she calls for help in areas and organises the refreshments for the party.

Stage 16 – Slim and feeling herself . Started developing properly in the right places. Almost done with high school counting the number of senior boys that liked her , classmates and her class guys. “Achievement isn’t it” , the director said sarcastically
Party planner extraordinaire but too busy to enjoy the party.

Stage 17 – She’s done with high school . Feeling free and young.
She has Joined facebook and exposed herself to virtual friendship.
More suitors starting lurking both genuine and fake.
She throws a birthday party with the rest of my classmates at her father’s house.
Preparing to go off to foundation programme where she’d be thousands of miles and feets away from home.
“How was she going to survive” , she thinks and ponders.
Her thoughts racing and mind already missing home but she has to go.

Stage 18 – 1st year of university . When all things aren’t clear . When going out with friends at night felt cool and crazy fun . Where you tried all to get the attention of a guy in final year and got really irritated by their attitude .when making money by herself struck her again through a different means. Not by making beads or selling cards or jewellery like she did in the 11th – 16th stage but by a different means . The art of hair styling and so it started.

Stage 19 – At this stage she fights harder with her spiritual standing . Christ her goal. Singing in the choir , writing and working hard at university . She started a web page to put up write ups but did not put her name to it for reasons she’d reveal . This stage you see the burst of different roles and actors. Where other actors came into her life playing the part of suitors and some players . Where girls smiled at, and with her but spoke of her behind her back. She is getting the attention of their “man” (” Really?!” the stage director exclaimed). Where she started doing volunteer jobs and paid jobs at the side of her personal business . Exploring her hands and mind in every area where possible. Teaching , counter assistant etc

Stage 20- The year before “adulthood” (dramatic pause). See her innocence starts fading where words were over thought and given sexual meanings. This learned from the first guy that she really liked at stage 17. Who wanted to be around her for her positivity but ended up draining her because he was filled with mood swings. Where she acted naively with guys but thankfully not throwing her pearl to the mud but this didn’t stop her from seating with it there. Just like any other new adventure , she replayed this scene but in different ways . This is the stage when those interested in her became in numbers too much to count . How they blew luring breeze to her face. They played their part perfectly . Finding it hard to turn down any due to how soft hearted she became in contrast to stage 16 where saying no was a piece of cake .Most importantly this was the stage where she started being exposed to the reformation through a dear friend .

Stage 21 – A tough year. Where she lost her friend . It changed her forever, sort of . Broke her in places she never knew existed . Where she was looked at as someone that stole hearts and broke hearts . Where she knew she could walk herself into those hearts that thought they were all that but knew she had greater power to walk out slowly without looking back although she did look back a few times. This is the stage she was introduced with the reformation in full force and it embraced her without mercy. She stood up to people and shared her belief . Almost lost friendships due to her boldness and offensive truths .See how she is being looked at differently by those around. She studied the bible hard and spent time on her knees . Seeking for knowledge and sharing as much as she could with all that would and would not listen

Stage 22- Decision making. She wished to be at two stages before . Where her mum and dad told her what to do and the road to take but that was 730 days ago. This time any decision she made they let her be. Letting her walk with it. They just gave advice but the ball was in her court . This stage where she has so many asides – thinking out loud and self dialogues. Where she had to pretend to be someone else giving advice to herself . Where she was in an actual dialogue with those around her which didn’t help matters as they gave their advice based on their experience. I mean where else do people give their pool of wisdom from that they always want to share .

Stage 22+ – She just started to explore this stage . As you can see she is somewhat clueless and trying to adjust. She never felt the 22nd stage but  it happened. When the need to make ones mind up is getting more frightening . Saying no or saying yes to choices that could change her life for the better or the worse . Where pleasing her parents is important to her and may likely influence some decisions she makes. Where pleasing God with everything she is is paramount.She is just few days into this stage.She fights the good fight but it is more difficult to stay on track .  Unlike stages pass , her knees ocassionaly grace the floors where she usually frequented .The stage she was lured by the passion in her heart but God in His mercy did not let her be destroyed completely. This stage she feels she may have found the one or the one has found her but she is still pondering and watching. The 22+ stage seems like war !! but hopefully she would be a soldier on guard and a soldier on her knees.

These are the stages of this lady’s life in short scenes
A summary of how she became and how she is becoming
Life is an open book but even more so a stage
For this life, these are her 22+ stages

Advertisements

Time and Sorrow

“Time heals all wounds”, they say
but every passing day I gain fresh memories
as though the scars left by your departure were being pecked upon
reopening wounds and leaving my heart bleeding again
This time, our good friend, Dr. time, failed to heal my hurt
Instead it reminds me of the memories we once shared
and I would never get to share with you again:
So much for being a qualified doctor

It was 2.49pm I last received your call,
a Saturday afternoon we last spoke
It was a sunny one
as I remember not having on the mocha coloured sweater you got me
All seemed bright and fair:
The flowers blossomed and the birds chirped
It was the beginning of spring and the daffodils were out
I wished this spring would have been as lovely as the rest
but its loveliness was lost when you breath your last
So with every spring comes a reminder of the pain,
and at 2.49pm the sound of the phone replays in my head.

There is a time to mourn and that time has been everyday since you left
in the summer where all things bloom
and where the smiles on people faces are brighter than ever
I am embraced with the reminder of your absence
because last summer you gave me gardenia, and each time
I can smell them as if it were yesterday you gave me

It was 1.00pm during the fall your intermittent took place:
When the leaves had lost it colours
and the trees were ready to shed their leaves
It was a well selected time
since you were being laid to rest
and the leaves from the trees beautified your burial place.
I hand picked special fall flowers;
the same kind you got for me on our first date in the fall
A mixture of dahlia and camellia

Now in the cold winter nights
I wished my mind be frozen so I do not remember you.
I am still hurting much
It was 11.59pm, a minute to christmas;
the day you told me you loved me,
and gave me a heart shaped icicle you made with the snow
I remember we stood by the luculia
beautiful pink flower in your parents garden
You picked one from its stalk
and beautified my hair with it.

It has been 365 days, 22hours, 10minutes, 22 seconds and counting
Still It feels like yesterday
the clocks had no tocks but only ticks,
as time seemed to stand still when I was told the news
I felt the colours in the sky drain
and suddenly I felt as though I was in all seasons
My heart was in chaos;
we had seasons of beautiful memories with sparkles of little misunderstanding
We had 24hours to ourselves and we both shared
Now those 24hours are for me alone and with 12hours I use to relieve the times we shared by myself
I end up walking through emptiness,
with tear filled eyes

with each season that passes by I remember you
As the clock ticks and gradually regain its tock
I think of each minute we had
Time heal wounds but still I’m hurting
Our shared memories get fresh with each season and time that goes by
Hopefully I would not have to wait another year
For time to finally stich up the hole you left in my heart

 

Originally written in september 2015

Parched Soul- 1

I drank tirelessly of the well
I had no thirst whatsoever
It filled me and in it’s satisfaction i rested
My soul well hydrated and
healthy, withstanding every vice

Now I have been thrusted into wilderness
the distractions that surround me
the unworthiness i feel when i fall short
how can i drink of that righteous stream
when dirt is lurking in my soul

I haven’t drank in days
yet it fills like a year
though surrounded with the well of salvation
I have no strength to draw
I need my joy restored

I am by the fountain of life yet dehydrated
I have let my shortcomings tell me I can’t drink any more
I am weak and my soul has started to get pale
this extreme need yet surrounded by the solution
but i can not fully embrace it

A few days ago, i felt drops on the tongue of my soul
and a few trickle from head to toe
giving me renewed strength
as i cried for mercy and grace to fight
but I am in need of several splashes and many buckets full
I would rather be over hydrated

I have looked to water substitutes
the juices of this world
yet i am even more parched
my soul yearns after you,
Lord

Don’t Loose Faith – Be Comforted

Written on May 17th.TO ME FROM MY FRIEND. now sharing it with YOU

My dear friend
You weep because you no longer see him
You weep because you no longer hear his voice
You weep because he has gone to rest
But Weep no more my dear friend
Weep no more for the one you called friend
Weep no more because he has gone to rest with the giver of life

Sad as it maybe
Sad as I know you feel
That which I cannot completely understand but I wish I could,
So I would have the right words to say to you..

My speech fails me
But I’ll put words to paper
My dear friend ,
Soldier in Christ,
I beg you
Don’t loose faith
I’ve prayed for a word from God
That would give you peace during this time..

We don’t understand the ways of God
But Rest in this my dear friend,
Nothing can separate you from the love of God
Not even how you’re feeling
God is closer to you than you think

I pray that The peace of the Lord that surpasses all human understanding be with you
I pray that He comforts you
I pray that He opens your eyes to see His will even in this
I pray that as painful as it is He gives you the strength to praise His name

You say you can’t and it’s true you can’t
Not on your own
Remember His grace is sufficient

I Hope this gives you some comfort during this time
I’m here whenever you need just
Give me a buzz and I’ll ‘bee’ there ( get it 🐝🐝)

Increase by Grace – January 2015

I was given to much drinking till i stagger and fall. Utterring words i need not say ,or is hardly heard from my mouth when in a sober state.Playing around with the ‘sisters and brothers ‘in the lord; indulging in things that shouldn’t be heard of .Immorality was the order of the day.sin needed no permission to rule in me since that was the only nature I knew and I was birthed in.I am well pleased to speak wrongly behind the person’s back I just smiled to her face and exchanged pleasantries few minutes ago .I knew who God was or so I claimed since he was always near my mouth when I’m in trouble or with the “brothers and sisters” in Christ but so distant from my heart when I indulged in every filth that my parents,pastor and those who saw me as a christian never saw me do,of course I got away with it ,or so i thought not remembering the one whom I would stand before on judgement day ,who knew every deed i had done while i made a profession to be a christian was watching . I had amnesia .

Can one identify with Christ yet leave like a sinner without no conviction of sin and urge to repent ?A question i had never asked my self or ever prompted to ask my self as I sat under preachers who hardly spoke nothing of holiness and God’s righteousness but how would they teach me on that. when they haven’t taken time to study on the attributes of God

Preacher who felt no need to confront me using the scripture of man’s sinful nature ie my sinful nature and burden of sin .
Instead they filled their sermons with their stories and motivational talks.They were bent on building my self esteem and helping me gain things that would all be left behind while my soul perished and headed for damnation .They made God appear as a ginnie in a kettle whom you would rub on ,and when he appeared ,I could make three wishes and it would be done.They taught me of a God formed by their imagination .

They took no time to instill the fear of God in me which is the beginning of wisdom and leads to the hatred of evil.Making me feel certain I was saved but with the obvious marks of not being saved I became uncertain.Weighed my life with Scripture vs comparing it with the words of the preacher man who were meant to be shepherds over the Lord’s flock .i was left in confusion .Yes i went back to study but exalted mans words over scripture .I say i am a christian yet I am the person in 1john 3 vs 8 .who makes a practice of sinning . Sinning was a habit.

I was adding to the numbers but not to Christ’s bride ;and because of me ,every unbeliever blasphemes against CHRIST .The eyes that pierces deep into the very darkness where most evil is done because he himself is light was seeing my deeds but I took no note of it .

Then it pleased the Lord to open my eyes to my true rotenness and helpless estate .The veils of my eyes were open to the beauty of His holiness ,righteousness,justice and mercy .There was an earthquake within me that shook my whole being and suddenly ,all my deeds and fleshly pleasures that once gave me satisfaction I now hate and detest when he encountered me .my savior in my filth and dirt snatched me from the demanding paws of sin whose pleasure lasts only for a moment .

I was like a pig who delighted in mud and rubbish ,a pig who could only be turned into a new creature by divine intervention .So how could a pig become a man and enjoy the good food man ate and ‘cleanliness ‘?How could I who ate the pigs food (theft, envy, jealousy, pride ,sexual immorality, lies, backbiting pornography, masturbation) abhor it and i suddenly had a longing for Holiness and Godliness and by the slightest mistake of trying to taste the filthy food again, I felt disgusted within and he drew my heart to him in repentance .In boldness I came before the throne of grace; He is that boldness that draws me to His throne that I may obtain mercy.

It has been a journey but a journey of outmost joy as i recall how a saviour spotless and without blemish came for me when clothed in filthy rags.When a smelly aroma oozed from my body yet it pleased him to make me his aroma. like a seed planted in the most fertile soil which is Christ I grow daily in holiness .no longer was I a person who identified with the son yet leaved like a foreigner .

My desires have shifted and i long for my heavenly home and my saviour.It is not my will but God who works in me both to will to do and to do of his good pleasure

The work of salvation is evident in my life and I am certain I am saved as I see the fruits of Godliness in my life and examine my self with scripture depending solely on Christ that lives in me .i can boldly say this Galatians 2 vs 20(I have been crucified with Christ .It is no longer i that lives but Christ that lives through me…)

By grace I have been truly saved and by grace i have increased;I have increased from love to hate ,From affection for things of this temporary world to hatred for them .O no, not the work of man or my own efforts which yielded nothing but stench, but God alone who could turn a pig to a new creature and now my whole being increases by grace in the salvation of our God .

Note from the author:

i looked into my life and from the teachings i had heard ,these words came to my mind. some incidents are related to my life .Nonetheless ,all is one  because  in my sinful nature ,whatever sin it be ,has been saved  and daily i increase by grace.

After the FLOOD came the RAINBOW.

As she cried ,”mercy me” and the dark clouds rolled back ,
then came a rainbow
illuminating its various colours
it was a symbol of a covenant and colours of mercy.
a sign of forgiveness for not taking heed to her Father’s warning
an arc of forgiveness,
a bow of shelter from further wrath
seven colours of perfection radiating life around her.

Gradually ,the flood subsided
but it wasn’t willing to leave without leaving painful memories
as it noticed she gained strength from the colours of the rainbow
it drained gradually yet painfully
leaving scars and hurtful memories in her heart
making her fill guilt for every passion she once felt
she needed no reminder that she had threaded the wrong route .

All the water subsided and with the little strength
she looked down at her land
O,how unrecognisable it was
desolate it became as every fertile soil had been washed away
a land she spent 20 years cultivating and preserving ,
waiting for the right time of harvest lay in ruin
strength and dignity had been washed away by erosion,
disgusted did she feel.

As the seven colours of mercy shone even brighter on her land,
she picked up what was left and tried to put things in place.
Her face down to the floor,
she wished she had not neglected the council of her father ,the Creator ,and friends ,
grace and righteousness
Her father watching every move she made,
and weighing her heart ,saw repentance in her .

He called out to her friends who never left in the first place
she couldn’t reach out for their help because of her hardened heart and flooded soul.
as the sun shone its light on the rainbow
making its colour beam even stronger
her land became the reflection of its colours
her friends helped her cultivate her land and
under the loving presence of God the father and Creator ,
her once desolate land now lay fruitful and fenced all around

NB : This is the continuation of “THE FLOOD”

THE EXPERIENCE

On this blissful day I got up feeling so strong and ready for the days activity not knowing I was going to learn some deep truth. I went to the Office did some little work then headed to the field, on my way to the field I started thinking on certain issues I needed Gods supernatural provision. I started wishing my folks had played the right cards and did some proper planning I don’t think I would have had to subject my self thinking and holding on to God this much for what i needed his Assistance for, I wished I didt have any want or lack and just thought towards God to Help out .just as I was in deep thoughts I got a response instantly and this was the response ‘ if u have everything or didt have any want or lack you would forget me’ I was shocked,scared as to how the response came so fast. I started trying to understand what the response meant and I got deep insights that opened my eyes that God Denys us certain things so we could continue to depend on him,that when ever we get too comfortable we can forget God and his importance, we can dwell on our physical strength and efforts. so the one of the ways God gets our attention is to fix some wants and lack, fix some setbacks and challenges to get us to Him. God wants us to always talk to him and have him at the back of our minds. Most of us only get to know God in times of needs and wants,in times of challenges, God wishes we communicate with him but in Good and in bad, in surplus and in want. Must of us could forget God when he blesses us so he has to deny us of those blessings he knows if you have you ,would cause one to lose focus from Him. until he sees that sincerity and how genuine you are to seek him both in plenty or in little  ,then  he may release his blessings. i ain’t a saint am just a young dude trying to live a purposeful and Godly life.
so I urge us to try to keep our eyes on God no matter the blessing or gift, we were blessed to be a love him more draw closer to him more. Bless

 

by a friend of mine
Mr victor.

In a little and concise summary : 1corinthians 12 vs 7 – 10

7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God is sovereign he knows what we need ,when we need it .