Tag Archive | wisdom

Outside yourself

One day I hope you look outside yourself
seeing yourself as a help
Instead of one needing of help
seeing yourself as a servant
Instead of one to be served
No longer seeing yourself as the victim each time,
A victim that life has wronged
without considering in what way the other has been wronged
To you the measure of what extent they have been wronged  may be little
but don’t use your own wrong as a measure for another’s

You use anyone that comes your way
to soothe you fleshly needs and fleeting emotions;
Unsure care and affection
I hope you remember that that person is human too
Just as weak and fragile
no  matter how strong they appear
deserving of the kind of love you think you deserve
and most undeserving of your uncertainty and deceit

May you remember that we are different
and selflessly be patient to learn the differences
If you expect more please give more
If they fall short please forgive and embrace
You fall short so many times
You don’t walk in a straight line
while hiding things you should share freely and truly along the way
If you expect your sorries to be accepted each time
then may you gain sense to accept another’s sorry
when you are given

Have compassion mixed with all that wisdom you think you have
less it be seen as foolish
as what need is it
To be “all” knowing and understanding in words
but shallow in heart and application
your depth is no deeper than a puddle at the road side
be gone with your heavy head and risen shoulders!!

written months back


22+ Stages

Life is an open book but even more so a stage
We are the actors with no scripts
We create it as we go along
No, it was created for us before we came along
The interesting part, you don’t act alone
It’s no solo performance

However you don’t get to meet all other actors at once
They pop up as you go along
The first actress you meet is your mum
then the nurses and doctors
Finally, the rest of the family
but you aren’t aware of your environment

Each scene you play at first is unplanned
but as you play along you get use to the actors
If they debut more than once that is

Are you ready to go through each stage?
To watch each scene of this particular life
Scenes bursting with emotions, suspense, struggle,
transformation, hope, mercy, grace, evil of the heart etc

“Ladies and gentlemen”, said the stage director
This is the first stage – Umbilical chord wrapped around her neck
See her coming out the wrong side out, bottoms up!!
She’s God’s vessel of mercy
Yes, all is well
It’s a girl! the doctor exclaimed at 10.45 am

Stage 2 – She’s learning how to seat and crawl . Suckling and trying to get attention by crying and screaming

Stage 3 to 7 – Nursery school into primary school. The girl sings and likes dancing . Competitive and likes to be appreciated for hard work especially by her parents . She notices boys and starts developing her crushes. Cute isn’t it , but not for long .

Stage 8 to 10- She realises the talents placed in her. She leads the dance team , acts in school plays and takes the lead in songs ( by the rivers of babylon). A particular play she acted as a french maiden. She also plays the violin , writes and leads the dance group both african dance and contemporary . Athletic feet, this scene is one you should take note of. How she tries to be in every area of the event to help her house win- running, high jump, marathon, relay race etc . We’d take a further look at the marathon; see how she almost faints but once her coach cries out, do it for your parents she appears to keep going and finally at the finish line collapses in the arms of her dad. See how she cries to her mum when a boy says he likes her , so pure and naive. Party planner and organiser. Her Party planning encounter at this stage, at primary school but this didn’t seat well with the authorities but the food had to be shared . Encounter with her cousin while acting , evidence that evil abides in all stages of life in the heart of man.

Stage 11 to 12- These are the pre- turbulent stage as you can see it is set up with many hurdles as she needs to go through this to become a teen. She gets competitive and starts becoming outspoken . Standing up for her right even if it is rudely done but see she is fragile with her heart knitted deep to her family. Hear how she cries when dropped off at school. When scolded or doesn’t get her way, she how she carries herself angrily and serving face . Hits her head on the bed or wall to show she’s angry. “That’s gonna hurt” , someone exclaimed from the audience. “Yes but no because wound self afflicted doesn’t usually hurt since one is mentally prepared for it” , said another . This stage she started high school. She took part in a beauty pageant and came third overall but fell ill right after as you can see. “A good means to use to get an exit back home”,  a lady said. She is the queen of home sickness as you see how she sneaks to get the house mistresses’ phone to give her dad a call. Throwing her dad into panic mode as he thinks something has gone wrong with his daughter and his wife. At this stage , she took part in a dance competition for only freshers, infront of the whole school audience and came out third.

Stage 13 to 15 -The turbulent stage as a teenager
Her body starts changing in full force. See how more guys start strutting by for her attention without a care in the world of how grown she has suddenly become. At this stage her mean girl attitude towards guys had fully developed and how she paid no mind to them. She embarrasses them with every fibre of her being. Rude isn’t she ?! . Few scenes later,” she looks worried as you may notice “, said the stage director . The reason , well at this stage all her friends had recieved their visitor . The trophy of womanwhood and her shelf was still empty . She hadn’t visited and she was one of the last people for it to hit. Into prayer of agreement they went . * The audience laughs* so young and eager at this time but at other stages you see mixed reactions to this precious visitor she waited and prayed for. Seeking to grow into a woman but still crying to go home from high school. Party planner for most class parties , see how she calls for help in areas and organises the refreshments for the party.

Stage 16 – Slim and feeling herself . Started developing properly in the right places. Almost done with high school counting the number of senior boys that liked her , classmates and her class guys. “Achievement isn’t it” , the director said sarcastically
Party planner extraordinaire but too busy to enjoy the party.

Stage 17 – She’s done with high school . Feeling free and young.
She has Joined facebook and exposed herself to virtual friendship.
More suitors starting lurking both genuine and fake.
She throws a birthday party with the rest of my classmates at her father’s house.
Preparing to go off to foundation programme where she’d be thousands of miles and feets away from home.
“How was she going to survive” , she thinks and ponders.
Her thoughts racing and mind already missing home but she has to go.

Stage 18 – 1st year of university . When all things aren’t clear . When going out with friends at night felt cool and crazy fun . Where you tried all to get the attention of a guy in final year and got really irritated by their attitude .when making money by herself struck her again through a different means. Not by making beads or selling cards or jewellery like she did in the 11th – 16th stage but by a different means . The art of hair styling and so it started.

Stage 19 – At this stage she fights harder with her spiritual standing . Christ her goal. Singing in the choir , writing and working hard at university . She started a web page to put up write ups but did not put her name to it for reasons she’d reveal . This stage you see the burst of different roles and actors. Where other actors came into her life playing the part of suitors and some players . Where girls smiled at, and with her but spoke of her behind her back. She is getting the attention of their “man” (” Really?!” the stage director exclaimed). Where she started doing volunteer jobs and paid jobs at the side of her personal business . Exploring her hands and mind in every area where possible. Teaching , counter assistant etc

Stage 20- The year before “adulthood” (dramatic pause). See her innocence starts fading where words were over thought and given sexual meanings. This learned from the first guy that she really liked at stage 17. Who wanted to be around her for her positivity but ended up draining her because he was filled with mood swings. Where she acted naively with guys but thankfully not throwing her pearl to the mud but this didn’t stop her from seating with it there. Just like any other new adventure , she replayed this scene but in different ways . This is the stage when those interested in her became in numbers too much to count . How they blew luring breeze to her face. They played their part perfectly . Finding it hard to turn down any due to how soft hearted she became in contrast to stage 16 where saying no was a piece of cake .Most importantly this was the stage where she started being exposed to the reformation through a dear friend .

Stage 21 – A tough year. Where she lost her friend . It changed her forever, sort of . Broke her in places she never knew existed . Where she was looked at as someone that stole hearts and broke hearts . Where she knew she could walk herself into those hearts that thought they were all that but knew she had greater power to walk out slowly without looking back although she did look back a few times. This is the stage she was introduced with the reformation in full force and it embraced her without mercy. She stood up to people and shared her belief . Almost lost friendships due to her boldness and offensive truths .See how she is being looked at differently by those around. She studied the bible hard and spent time on her knees . Seeking for knowledge and sharing as much as she could with all that would and would not listen

Stage 22- Decision making. She wished to be at two stages before . Where her mum and dad told her what to do and the road to take but that was 730 days ago. This time any decision she made they let her be. Letting her walk with it. They just gave advice but the ball was in her court . This stage where she has so many asides – thinking out loud and self dialogues. Where she had to pretend to be someone else giving advice to herself . Where she was in an actual dialogue with those around her which didn’t help matters as they gave their advice based on their experience. I mean where else do people give their pool of wisdom from that they always want to share .

Stage 22+ – She just started to explore this stage . As you can see she is somewhat clueless and trying to adjust. She never felt the 22nd stage but  it happened. When the need to make ones mind up is getting more frightening . Saying no or saying yes to choices that could change her life for the better or the worse . Where pleasing her parents is important to her and may likely influence some decisions she makes. Where pleasing God with everything she is is paramount.She is just few days into this stage.She fights the good fight but it is more difficult to stay on track .  Unlike stages pass , her knees ocassionaly grace the floors where she usually frequented .The stage she was lured by the passion in her heart but God in His mercy did not let her be destroyed completely. This stage she feels she may have found the one or the one has found her but she is still pondering and watching. The 22+ stage seems like war !! but hopefully she would be a soldier on guard and a soldier on her knees.

These are the stages of this lady’s life in short scenes
A summary of how she became and how she is becoming
Life is an open book but even more so a stage
For this life, these are her 22+ stages

Dear Contentment, things are not always as they seem

See post – “Dear friend, I deserve what you have” . before this post

Dear Contentment,

You have harboured pain for so long, so much hypocrisy as i recall the times you stood by me.
However, i am grateful you did. At least you tried to cage it all in and thankfully you did not explode. How ironical for you to be named contentment.It’s really funny .I would tell you the truth with all honesty, you should have been called covetousness or jealousy. You just displayed how un-christ like you really were ,you had an out show of godliness but inside you were layers of bitterness. I would not Lord it over you because to be honest, there were so many things i saw in you that i admired and honestly wished i was half as great as you were just like you pointed out in your letter but we are given what we have because God made it so. Have you forgotten we deserve nothing but God graciously bestowed to us what he deemed fit? so if you complain and eye another persons’ to the point of hatred,jealousy and bitterness then my friend you just told God he knew nothing and knows nothing. You spit on his face by your acts.

You gained a Phd by being knowledgeable of your flaws? your words betray you as you esteem yourself more highly than you ought to. You have ripped yourself of the certificate by boasting in  your so called goodness which worth nothing but filthy rags in the presence of God.I’d ask you ,can a man be pure before his maker?Dear virtuous woman as you call yourself clothed in strength and dignity how dignifying has been your thoughts towards me ? .How filled with strength have you displayed as you have become weakened by the things God graciously allowed come my way. You my dear friend are also a benefactor of God’s mercy but you are so myopic to see yours but your vision strengthened to see mine as you gazed intently with envy.For heavens sake , a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised and to fear the Lord is to depart from evil but my dear friend you have not departed from the evil of jealousy and thoughts of bitterness. Hence ,stripping yourself of that title.

However, things are not always as they seem.The seconds of smiles you usually see on my face may have come after minutes and hours of tears and hard work.my fiancé , yes he is such an angel but trust me the times we have our arguments is nothing to write home about but i love him and he loves me.I may not have been a saint but you aren’t either . I wold not let you hang that over my head .The Lord knows how repentant i was of the times i spent in my different boy friend’s arms. Giving up myself cheaply but God purified me and cleansed me as i laid all at his feet. I went away from the alter after being cleansed by my High priest, Christ Jesus and sinned no more.He graciously had mercy on me and decided to bless me with my fiancé. I keep wondering why  and what i had done to deserve it but that’s just it, i didn’t deserve it. He did it for Himself .To receive all the glory, so my friend glorify God for me and don’t speak words of hatred.

A body to die for ?And a face lovely to behold you say? All flesh like grass would fade away.Charm is decietful and beauty vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Yes I stuff my face with unhealthy food ,so you say but dear friend I hit the Gym every now and then. I also stuff my face with five a day rule .

Things are not as they seem because i had to go through a lot to forgive myself and accept the goodness of God. I hated myself for sometime with days of guilt and regret .You deserve what i have right? Yes that’s fine but let me add,to deserve the end result my dear friend then you must be wiling to say you deserve the hurdles ,pains,tears and consequences that came and comes with the end result. Life is not a bed of roses you either sow thorns or the thorns from the rose you thought life was would prick you without knowing but dear friend there must be thorns.Expensive shoes ,bags ,cloths? Is that really your problem? This are trivial things to get a head ache about. This are temporary things and all would pass. We brought nothing to this world and we would most definitely take nothing.I’d give you the she’s and bags but please kindly ask and save your heart the accumulation of garbage thoughts and intentions.

Dear contentment ,things are not always as they seem for the things that are seen are temporal while the things unseen are permanent so please do aways with the unseen bitterness,envy and jealousy which are now temporal because you have brought it to the open. Things are not as they seem because there is a story behind every success so if you pray to be someone , then get ready to face the same problems and issues.Dear contentment one last advice ,go on your knees and repent.

Lots of Love,